What a memorable night. I wasn’t good at the game, just definitely better than my brother. The prologue took place two weeks earlier, when my brother, a big-shot library attendant, bet $100 on one NFL 2k1 game. I agreed and proceeded with the virtual beat down of my brother.

If I lost, I was planning on paying him with my Christmas money. He wanted to pay me in something like weekly five dollar increments. Come on. We agreed that he would pay me the full amount whenever he could.

Fast forward to that fateful night. The terms were simple: double or nothing. We picked the same teams, Tampa Bay vs. Tennessee. I laid down another beating, something like 35-7 with him quitting in the midst of the fourth quarter. He yelled something along the lines of, “I’m really angry. That was a practice game. I’m telling mom.” So then we played the real game.

I shut him out. I remember that vividly. It was a triumph for little brothers around the world. To rub it in, I reminded him that it was his dish washing night. He disagreed and proceeded with the real-life beat down of his brother.

I told him I was running away or something. I booked it out of the house, not putting pants on or anything. I was eight years old at the time, so this rash behavior was understandable. No, wait a second, I was fifteen. It took three seconds in the January night to realize I should probably go back inside. I went to sleep after washing the dishes.

Something I do every few months is browse through all my old website folders. For a few weeks I hosted my site in a subdirectory of the Unknown Elements space. I didn’t backup the database for that incarnation, so I was only able to read the first entry used while making the layout. It was a tribute for Wally when he moved.

Goodbye Wally. In seventh grade, I rocked his Goldeneye world so hard that his appendix burst– literally.

It could’ve been from the intense bike ride across Oak Harbor all the way to my house. This is a thirty minute drive depending on who you ask. But his supreme appendix destruction was most likely due to supreme video game domination, courtesy of me.

Now, he did beat me a few maps. In dumb arguments, all that matters is who gets the last word in. In this case, all that matters is who wins the last match. On that last map, I took a lead and he magically had to go home before we could finish. Ask him and he’ll deny that I was ever winning. Who’re you going to believe: me, a trustworthy fellow (take my word for it), or Wally, known best for shielding himself from the rain with an Xbox?

1. Once in your life you have to see an old lady get her umbrella turned inside-out.
2. Karma will come back around hard to the bastard that threw my Magic Bullet base away.
3. My brother can grow a mustache and goatee. I only grow whiskers. But I’m pleased when I squint and pretend.
4. It’s awesome when the thuggest of thugs leaves his ringer on in class and it’s the corny song set for his girlfriend.
5. You should never try to put Bret Hart in a figure-four leg-lock.

So I was brushing my teeth today and noticed, for the first time in my life, some semblance of a beard. I need to call my mom and let her know that her son is becoming a man. My plan is to just not shave until summer and see how things turn out. Hopefully my beard will be among the manliest. At the very least, I’ll have a vicious dirtbag moustache. Using only the most advanced programs, I’ve simulated this hair growth and am sharing the six-month projection.

There were tons of photo opportunities today. It was the first PBL game of the winter season, so it would be a perfect time to take team pictures. I forgot my camera. Earlier tonight, I rode a bunch of busses downtown and was planning on taking pictures at each stop. I forgot my memory card. At the end of the night, I just snapped some pictures on the balcony.

We won our PBL opener. Glory Road inspired me, but inspiration alone can’t make up for a remarkable lack of skill. I left a halfway respectable amount of skin on the court. All that really matters is that the Boy Roll Brothers were back in action.

For more randomness, here’s my entry to a MySpace bulletin making the rounds. Mash your keyboard and make up a corresponding acronym.

Lj;k Long John Semicolon Killer

I modified the site beyond recognition:

1. Almost everything validates now, which was bothering me previously.
2. I got tired of maroon.
3. There’s text in some photography posts now.
4. I moved the comments link to the top of posts and made the word ‘comments’ clickable. No e-mail necessary.
5. Added ‘previous’ and ‘next’ navigation to photography archive
6. Replaced Georgia with Verdana for non-headings
7. Increased the number of thumbnails down the right side of the main page

I keep a small notebook in my backpack strictly for random things I probably wouldn’t remember otherwise. Here are a few excerpts. I hope you enjoy

I blew my nose and air came out of my right eye. This is new

I tried to redeem my subway game piece. It was invalid. That really sucks

Jason the Drunk: He dropped a shot glass on the ground and it broke. When I saw him, he was on his stomach on the kitchen floor and appeared to be swimming. He was, in fact, trying to sweet the glass up with his bare hands

I had to relieve myself (read: pee) after class today. This isn’t unusual so I made my way to the bathroom. I walked passed a women’s restroom door and into the next restroom. While doing my business, I realized the room had no urinals. At first it seemed odd, but it wasn’t extreme. Then I thought of the last time a public men’s restroom didn’t have urinals and came up with nothing.

I looked around and, well, I’ve definitely never seen tampon dispensers in a men’s restroom. Panic time. I cut it mid-stream, washed my hands like a madman, and managed to book it without anyone noticing me. I’ve seen an orangutan jump rope over its own arms, but the craziest thing I’ve seen in my life is two women’s bathrooms right next to each other.

Earlier today I went through images from previous iterations of this site. In regards to photography, I’ve become really lazy. It’s a bit depressing. Quality has fallen off a lot. I decided to use my Christmas money in the most responsible way, spending all of it on a new lens (24mm/f2.8). Now I just have to go out and use it. It’d be nice if it stopped raining.

There’s really no good excuse for my lack of updates. Again, for the fiftieth time, I’m going to try and update more. This could mean the end of my Xanga. But most likely not, because that’s where I can post things about how much everything sucks.

wow, u really werent kiddin when u called ur blog boringperson.com

To the author of this comment, I checked and reallycleverguy.com is still available—just a heads-up.