On some random stuff, I read that the Raptors had Torontosaurus Rexes proposed as a name. That was the best thing I learned all month.

What kind of pizza guy delivers to a shadowy figure inside a storm drain. There’s no law regarding this? The lesson here is that, when dealing with storm drains, you should talk to the giant turtles and avoid the clowns. Louie told me when he was a kid that there was nothing better than eating pizza and watching the TMNT movies. I thought about it, and I doubt there actually is anything better than that.

It was too bad for those robbers in TMNT II that the pizza guy was a Surf Ninja. Finally, I’ve attached a picture for all the fellas to send out to the lucky ladies next year. Enjoy.

This is my tribute to University Way—The Ave. I can’t get my education on the Ave, but I can fill my stomach up good. Here are my top five food joints.

5. Orange King – Their teriyaki burger ain’t touching the elementary memories I have of the teriyaki burgers at McDonald’s, but it’s pretty good. And there’s this Mexican guy that fakes a Japanese accent. Please believe me.

4. Chipotle – I avoided this place so long because it was previously tied to McDonald’s. Dumb reason, and I’ve been missing out.

3. Mongolian Grill –Weekends only because of the food coma. They fell off a little by restricting the all you can eat to seconds only. I loved eating all I could. Still, good food can be had and they serve the curry that I love so much.

2. Gyrocery - Second worst pun on the Ave. They hook up the meat. And I enjoy my meat. There’s no reason to go to Pita Pit with this a few blocks down. Feels like Agrabah in there. Which I just found out five seconds ago isn’t a real city. Damn.

1. Hawaiian BBQ – It’s got a special place in my heart, because it was the only place on the Ave I remembering eating at before college. Last year it seemed like the best kept secret and this year it seemed like the secret got out. I’m glad business is up, since the dude running it has always been real cool. I question the Hawaiian-ness of the place, but the food and portions are top notch.

U-Dublicious – Seatteribble pun.

The Taiwanese Place – We used to beast it up at this place. It’d be an easy number two, but it’s gone now. Remember the Family Guy episode where Peter discovers that the Drunken Clam is replaced by some horrible shadow of its former self? That was my first day of school.

New China Express – We order out at our favorite place but tend to not eat in on account of the raging manager that gives us the evil eye for wanting separate checks. It’s off the list but it’d probably knock Orange King off if we ate in there more. Also, wasn’t this the name of some jobber WWF tag team?

I saw this in the headlines on ESPN.com:

Barbaro on his feet Tuesday, ‘doing very well’

First I thought, “Barbosa hurt his feet?”

Then I thought, “That horse can talk somehow? Maybe there’s some system.”

Then I realized I’m an idiot.

Chrono Trigger

I was (and probably still am) spoiled. I managed to convince my parents to get me a copy of Chrono Trigger when it was released in Japan. About six hours into the game, you get to the End of Time, where you meet Spekkio. To move the story along and learn magic, you have to walk around his room three times and then talk to him again. Of course, he tells you this. And of course, in the Japanese version, he tells you this in Japanese. I can’t read that. Congratulations, you’ve ruined my life.

Final Fantasy 5

Beating this (in Japanese) was one of the great accomplishments of my life. Unfortunately, it’s probably in the top five of things nobody cares about. Top three. So since fifth grade, all I get out of it is the chance to say that I did it. For a good amount of the game, locations and actions to progress the story are sort of obvious. But once the overworld opens up and the airship is available, it’s pretty much hours and hours of wandering. Why didn’t I get bored? Because I was able to listen to Bone Thugs ‘N Harmony’s smash hit Tha Crossroads probably the entire 74 hours. I made up the wackest lyrics in my head.

NBA Live ‘95

One of the best games in the series, mostly because the title rhymed. I wasn’t too interested in the game but I watched my brother enough to finally have the urge to play against him. So he set the game up. Remember, I’m in third grade and it’s my first time playing. I think the game’s about to start, then he pauses it and tweaks his roster and board crashing settings for fifteen minutes. Like it’s real ass NBA Finals Game 7. Third grade. I did the right thing and told my mom. Then she did the right thing, skipping the eject button and ripping the cartridge from the Super Nintendo’s death grip. She continued by slamming, or slam-dunking it if you will, into the ground. Dan couldn’t save after that. Congratulations, I’ve ruined your life.

Movies

We watched Mission Impossible this past weekend. I liked it a lot. It definitely felt like a summer movie. I’m sure a bunch of dudes searched for her after seeing the movie, but it’s worth mentioning that Maggie Q is fly. I don’t know if this is at every Blockbuster, but we used to always see one of her older movies on the shelves: Naked Weapon. I’m gonna go ahead and guess that it’s a pretty horrible film.

Of course, Da Vinci Code opens this weekend. Because of this, the History Channel and Discovery Channel are apparently airing tons of shows about Da Vinci and the scandals involved in the book. Meaning I have more TV to procrastinate with. It’s been almost three years since I read it. Currently I have a British version of the book. I let my auntie borrow it and she let my uncle borrow it on his trip to England. He left it on the plane, but he’s clever so he just bought a copy in England. Unfortunately, my auntie caught him after she noticed the slight differences between the U.S. and British covers.

The sleeper hit of the summer also opens this weekend. Starring Kane as, I’m guessing, Kane in the horror See No Evil. Honestly, I was sort of shocked by the trailer and preview. It doesn’t look as bad as one might imagine after learning that it’s a WWF film. What I’m really waiting to see is if it scores higher with the critics than the Da Vinci Code, which is doing pretty terrible.

School

My lack of updates should be blamed on me, but I’ll blame it on school. It’s consuming my life a good amount, but I have a pretty lax schedule so I complain more than I should. Right now I’m at the library studying. I’m trying to fix the wireless on my laptop so that I can get my torrents going (Torrent ports are blocked at the dorm. Hopefully I used the word ‘ports’ correctly). What am I trying to download? Not Gilmore Girls for once. I can’t risk people seeing me downloading dorky things at the library. I’m trying to get the episodes of Dragon Ball Z’s Perfect Cell Saga.

The general consensus of hardcore anime fans seems to be that Dragon Ball is all fluff and only for the casual. I watched it in Japan as a kiddo, so that has to be some sort of pass. Plus who cares anyway. Shit’s tight. In first grade I tried to turn Super Saiyajin so I thought of all the bad things in the world and screamed as loud as I could in the bathroom. First grade is cooler than college.

I always slack on the updates when midterms come around. Speaking of school, here’s a perfect combination of things to keep me away from homework.

1. Nails long enough to clip
2. Clothes to fold
3. Jason X. I caught the beginning of this Saturday morning. And the middle and the end. It’s simply terrible. Jason gets torn into five pieces and the crew escapes happily. Or so I thought. I changed the channel thinking it was over. A few minutes later I was flipping through the stations and saw that it wasn’t over. Jason was alive, back in one piece, and he even had a new mask. How’d this happen? I asked my friends about it and Jerry explained that the reason he merged back together is that there’s no reason.
4. The Neverending Story. It has one of my top ten favorite movie scenes ever: Atreyu and Artex rest next to a stream and indulge in a mid-day meal. Atreyu says something like “Oh you’re hungry Artex. That’s a good idea.” Bastian, the kid reading the book and, you know, not actually on an adventure, stops reading and says, “No, that’s a great idea.” Then he pulls a sandwich out of his bag and takes a bite, then he stops and says, “No, we’ve got a long way to go.”
5. NBA Playoff double headers
6. NBA Playoff QUADRUPLE Headers
7. Deadliest Catch marathons. Plural because of the number of times this has been a distraction. This is how you spell riveting: c-r-a-b. It makes me wonder, if a crab and a spider showed up in my room, why is the spider scarier? The only negative is how amazingly hungry the show makes me. Honestly, is there a better way to spend time than to watch four hours of Deadliest Catch? Absolutely