This is the Black Star Ninja leader, looking like he’s straight up from a Fernando Poe Jr. film. He could pass for one of my uncles and it’s just really hard to believe he’s Japanese. His special abilities include belting out great lines in annihilated English. He possess great skill. A good question for the most part is: what the hell is this guy trying to say? But the real question regarding American Ninja is: why didn’t Michael Dudikoff blow up after the film?

I have no answer for that, only reasons it shouldn‚Äôt have happened the way it did. 1) He displays star-talent game. After pulling her out of a river, he asks if she‚Äôs alright. ‚ÄúI‚Äôm just a little wet thank you.‚Äù Most guys would stutter a bit and ask what they could do to help or maybe bring her back to the base. Hesitation isn‚Äôt in Dudikoff‚Äôs vocabulary. He informs her ‚ÄúWe‚Äôre gonna let our clothes hang out to dry.‚Äù He‚Äôs in like thirty minutes later. T.I. asked what he knows about that and Dudikoff said he knows all about that. 2) He destroys Steve James in an honor fight–while blinded by a bucket on his head.  It hardly makes sense but it’s fairly inspiring.  You know what, I’ll just let the image speak for itself. 

And he’s not a top-5 action hero why?  Since Steve James is the poor man‚Äôs Carl Weathers, this makes Dudikoff the poor man‚Äôs Arnold.  My point is getting a bit muddled. What I‚Äôm trying to get at is that, at the very least, he deserved the Guile role. If he was truly destined to star in bad action movies, he could have at least starred in the best of the worst. Another point going for him is that he‚Äôs actually American. Ninja. American Ninja.

While on the topic, it’s worth bringing up another favorite of mine, 3 Ninjas. There’s a scene where a bad guys are ready to wreck the party and slice up Grandpa Ninja, except they can’t unsheathe their swords since the hallway is so narrow. I feel like I’ve mentioned this before. I searched my old posts and found that I pretty much described it in exactly the same fashion. Anyway, that scene was fantastic and the narrow hallway idea should be utilized more often in Hollywood.

The above picture is circa spring 2002, when I wore a t-shirt on my head for a majority of every afternoon. In order, that’s Curt, Jason, me, Wally, Ray, and Rey. There was really no reason to post this collection of avatars except to point out that Wally tied on a headband and painted his eyes white.

And of course, there’s a reason behind an entire post about ninjas.  Their internet popularity is waning these days, and I hope to remedy that just a little bit with the following film from 2004.  Neighborhood Ninjas II.  It’d probably be rated R for violence.  If it were a real movie.  But it’s not, so I say it’s rated R for remarkable. 

hahahaha this post ruled

Academy award winning Neighborhood Ninjas

go ninja go ninja GO
ahahah we gotta make another movie.

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