[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4]

Went to ShoeMart today. It’s the chain of malls here. We went inside the SM department store. There are a lot of employees. Imagine a Nordstrom shoe section. Then add 50 employees. My uncle Edwin says they make 250 pesos a day, which is the same as what the rice field workers earn. And it seems to be around minimum wage.

Money doesn’t make sense to me here. I had a T-bone for lunch for three bucks. It was probably about 8 ounces of meat. Fast food is cheap, but then Starbucks is the same price. As far as Starbuck goes, coffee and fraps are fine, but don’t get the cheesecake here. It tastes like cheese.

Our parents joined us later in the evening and Dan copped a barong. Four people helped find the right size and three helped at the register. Same thing happened at the bookstore. One girl on the register, one bagged, and a third smiled mostly. Dan’s guess is that the hundreds of employees play the role of security cameras.

By the time we came out of SM, it was foggy and overcast. If it were Seattle, I’d guess it were in the forties. But it‚Äôs not Seattle, so it‚Äôs overcast but I’m rocking an undershirt with a timeless accessory–pit stains. We haven’t spent much time yet in Pampanga’s sun. We got a good minute of its full effect loading the van for Baguio. It was like someone blasted me with a super soaker full of sweat. It‚Äôs probably a bit of foreshadowing for next week. Like in The Fellowship of the Ring where they see the mercenaries on the Oliphants but there’s no confrontation until The Return of the King. That minute loading the fan is Fellowship and next week’s weather will be like The Return of the King. I’ve come up with plenty of bad analogies for this blog but that’s quite a whopper.

We’re delivering invitations to various households throughout Baguio. We just visited my grandpa’s cousin, my dad‚Äôs uncle. God has taken all the hate in the world and put it in his dogs. If released from their cages, I’m 100% certain that they would treat me like that cow in Jurassic Park.

I just met my second cousin. He’s the same age as me, older by twelve days. For some reason he reminds me that we’re still young. He’s a nursing student and far more polite than I‚Äôll ever be. He tells me and Dan about his ex-girlfriend from California, school schedules, and playing basketball for money in the streets because the city leagues are too expensive. And it seems like the dullness of the NBA Finals is universal–he seems disgusted talking about his Cavs. Seeing how good a person he is no matter his environment helps me understand how spoiled I am. I hope some remnant of this feeling stays with me through all the hot showers and the ongoing battle of Blu-Ray and HD-DVD.

If you happen to be in Baguio and your uncles tell you to jump in the 1980 Toyota Van to go to a place called The Secret Place, make up an excuse to stay at all costs. Say you want to bond with your aunties or something. Anything.

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4]

My uncle told me to come out with him in the morning. Next to his
farm is a rice farm. He pointed out the workers. It was 7AM but they
had already been out for two hours hunched over. They plant,
sidestep, and plant again until the sun goes down. They’re paid 250
pesos a day – - five dollars.

About the cars passing each other. That was at night. It was safe at night. In the day, we
seem to be passing another vehicle at least every minute. It seems to
work because oncoming vehicles will yield somewhat if they see you
passing. That’s not to say it doesn’t scare the hell out of me. Hood
to hood, we’ve been five feet from buses and trucks.

Our trip to Baguio takes five hours, but it’s barely 100 miles. This is mostly because of
tricycles that aren’t supposed to be on the road. It makes me wonder
who’d be more scared: me and Dan driving here or them driving on I-5. My uncle
says, “Just wait till we go to Manila.”

Just had beef steak. Six of us ate lunch for 20 bucks. Not a bad
deal. Movie idea: the American brothers try to get fresh with the
local girls at Shoemart. But one of them tells their boyfriend. He
speaks English without an accent and says something along the lines of
“You think you’re so great because you’re from America. Well you’re
not welcome here!” And he’s a vampire. Who’s also from America but
is ashamed of his identity. Title: Vladikbayan: The Impaler.

[I'm not gonna lie, I thought this was hilarious when I was writing it three weeks ago.]

Inspired by the first babaeh sighting of the trip. Probably my age.
Dan says they’re American. You be the judge. Here’s a picture where she’s about 50×50 pixels and probably taking a picture of me:

The trip to Baguio is straight about 90 percent of the way. Then
there’s the last half hour. Uphill. Blind curves. People passing on blind curves. Over and over.
You’ll earn a Gran Turismo S-license driving on this.

I just saw a Temple of Doom bridge going across this canyon. Note to self: look up Tour of Luzon. MA and Pa both remember this in their younger days. It’s like the tour de France. Pa says the hardest stretch consisted of the roads up the boondocks to Baguio. Then he told me how the word boondocks came from the Philippines and how John Wayne stole it.

Uncle Rene is third in command for the department of agricultural reserves.
Something like that. He’s sort of a Robin Hood. They acquire land
from the rich and distribute it among the poor. That’s as far as my
understanding stretches.

Just watched the end of Die Hard 3. Entertaining. On a scale of 0-10 in realism, 10 being me sitting on the computer and 0 being Yoshi’s Island, Die Hard 3 is like a 0.5.

Me and Dan just slept from 5PM to 2AM. I had a dream where I had to
hide two cell phones and keep one on me. Or else I’d be murdered. I
forget why or who was chasing me. I ran towards the docks to hide.
There was a tennis court I had to pass through so I juked and jived to
trick the pursuers into thinking I was playing tennis. It worked.
Dummies. I hid one phone in a locker, one in a vending machine, and
kept one in my pocket. Then I tried to take a nap under the dock, but
I realized I didn’t know the combination to the locker. That’s when I
woke up.

Last night I had a dream where I won 5 million on a slot machine, but
it just gave me a receipt. Then I was supposed to cash the receipt in
the next day at the same machine, but they moved it.
Nobody believed me when I explained the story. Big surprise.

I took some pictures on the balcony. Dan joined me outside. Ten
minutes later, my dad came out too. My mom woke up and asked if we
wanted breakfast but she was out of it because my dad let her know
that it was only 2:30 in the morning. All three Cortez boys basking in
the ambiance–a cacophony of honking horns and busted mufflers. At that point I realize
both of them were born here. Dan jokes about saving up for ten years
and retiring here. My dad says he himself couldn’t do it at this
point. He can’t kid himself – - America is nice. Then Pa tells us about the square in front of us.

This building was one story, that building burned down in 79, this bridge wasn’t even
here. When I was 15, 16, we’d stand out in front of that building,
watching girls pass by. Up that street and to the left,
we’d smoke and play pool. Down there I had my first job. I’d write
down the names of all the jeepney drivers. It was my responsibility
to keep track of the queue–see who gets the next passengers. There
used to be a fire station down there. It’s all different now. There’s
a lot more people but not a lot of progress.

Goodbye Tre.

This post contained spoilers

Kanye West performing ‘Big Brother’ live. In its entirety. At some secret concert. [Update: The audio is clearer in this video.]

Last Friday I decided to write a few updates before we left for camping. I was going to put up some more pictures of us drawing with flashlights and edit and post another Philippines entry. I opened up My Computer and realized my external drive wasn’t listed. Then I checked and it wasn’t on. And it wouldn’t turn on. I tried every outlet in the house and hooked it up to my laptop but still no luck. Depressing. Most of my stuff is backed up on DVDs but all of my pictures from this summer were gone forever. This story is going nowhere, so I’ll cut to the chase. I brought it to Paul’s and tried with his cables and it works, so I imagine it’s just an AC adapter issue. Once I get it working I’ll be able to update properly. For now, here are a few thoughts on the state of the nation.

Kanye vs. 50 Cent

I really have no idea who’s winning this one. Check out the odds on Bodog. I don’t know how to read betting lines, but I think 50 is heavily favored on this one. 50 says he’ll sell more in this interview. He also says, “show me a clip of Kanye saying he’ll outsell me.” Here you go. If I buy one it’ll be Graduation. On a side note, regardless of the whole Kanye thing, the 50 interview is interesting as a reminder that he’s actually fairly intelligent.

Stratosphere, Las Vegas

We rode the rides at the top of the bootleg Space Needle. The Big Shot is cool, but you’ve probably ridden something similar at another amusement park. It’s a tower that shoots you up really quick and you free fall from the top. The cool thing is that it’s really high. It might have been a lot scarier, but we rode Insanity right before. It’s like the Octopus at carnivals, except 800 feet up. And you’re strapped by your shoulders and facing the center. At first it’s scary, because the crane arm slowly takes you over the edge of the tower. Then it starts spinning and it’s actually pretty fun (Like most people accustomed to extreme activities, Russ had his arms up). And then it speeds up, the seats pull back, and you’re not facing the center. Instead you’re at a 70 degree angle staring down at a bunch of buildings 80 stories below you (Russ pulled his arms down at this point). It becomes scary again. Then it’s over. If you happen to be in the area I recommend it highly.

Hans Klok

We were trying to find a show to watch and we decided on The Beauty of Magic since Ka was sold out. More for Pamela Anderson than for the magic. But after the show we pretty much forgot about C.J. Parker. We had a new hero: Hans Klok. Kind of the most fun I’ve had in a while. A lot of that has to do with over-the-top flamboyance. At one point he ran to the front of the stage and stared into the distance. Meanwhile, some high powered blow-dryer hidden in the stage blew his hair back to display its lusciousness. And then there are his assistants. And Pamela Anderson? P.I.M.P. There’s also a dance squad in the show that set the mood pretty well (the show tells his story of growing up and performing around the world).

I looked up some reviews when I got back to San Diego and expected to see critics raving. But they seem to hate it. I guess similar tricks were all revealed on those Fox specials a few years back. And I was a fan of those, so I can see where the reviewers are coming from. But I’ve also forgotten how most of them work and was pretty much amazed. You’ll have a good time. Also, it turns out that in Amsterdam it’s fairly common knowledge that Hans is gay. Fooled the hell out of me.

Knott’s Berry Farm

Last Tuesday me and Wally had nothing to do. So we decided to go to Disneyland. Until we realized we’d need a “no homo” billboard to compensate for that boy-date. Universal Studios seemed kind of pricey and we’d be better off going to Disneyland if it had to be the two. We decided on Knott’s since it would be extreme. On the hour drive we talked a lot about our feelings while listening to Meg & Dia.

It’s pretty much all about the rides here. No themes really. Except the Camp Snoopy kids area and the Mexican section. I’m not exactly a connoisseur, but the rides were pretty good. I wasn’t really familiar with roller coaster technology. I’m used to the carts being pulled up a hill and clicking the whole way before the first drop. There were no lines so it was a pretty big surprise conversing one second and being pulled to 60 MPH the next. Here are a few pictures of the rides: Xcelerator, Ghostrider, Montezooma’s Revenge, and Silver Bullet. It’s a good place to be on an empty Tuesday.

Talib Kweli “Hot Thing / In The Mood” video. In the style of those Hewlett-Packard (I think) commercials.

On the bus to work. Just heard a guy on the phone, “I need a ride to football practice after seeing my probation officer.”

On the bus to work. Just heard a guy on the phone, “I need a ride to football practice after seeing my probation officer.”

A young Carlton Banks. Kind of better than Darren’s Dance Grooves.