Hulk Hogan slams Andre the Giant. I finished listening to Hulk Hogan’s audio-book autobiography. He tore his back muscle performing this bodyslam.

I need to overcompensate for that Milo Ventimiglia post, so here’s Bo Jackson’s wikipedia entry. It’s like reading about a superhero. “The trainer replied ‘Bo says he felt his hip come out of the socket, so he popped it back in, but that’s just impossible, no one’s that strong.’” And here’s a clip from NFL films or something similar showcasing his NFL career.

Pictures of Jess from high school. My favorite character from Gilmore Girls. If you don’t click it you might still think I’m talking about a girl, which works out for me.

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4]

Read a lot and watched Scary Movie 4. Negative five out of five. Almost another off day. Then the sun went down.

We were in the middle of Stealth, the fan was blowing in the room. Then I realized it was actually sort of cold. Wind was picking up. Then it went black. All the auntie’s yelled brown out. Crazy world we live in: black people are brown and brown outs are black. (Was that racist?)

Earlier in the day, I saw a goat get slaughtered. And I only watched the beginning. I watched them drown it with vinegar and up to the part where they hang it up and blowtorch the hair off it. Slightly disturbing. Later, peering through a window, I saw a goat head on a table. I’m no Sherlock, but I think they cut it up at some point. And in the afternoon my auntie announced that the crickets were ready. She asked my uncle, her husband, to confirm that they were crickets. He said locusts. I said no thanks.

All of us were standing under a metal roof next to a swimming pool. All I could think of was the equation used to determine how much time until fibrillation occurs when electrocuted. Or not think of, because I force-forgot it probably 2 minutes after my final. It was pitch black save for a few candles. Lightning was racing between the clouds. It looked like God was taking pictures. Kind of scary. Locusts, goats being slaughtered, black clouds, and violent lightning. Four horsemen coming right up.

Then rain started coming down. Seattle rain is nothing to complain about. It’s disconcerting to hear water beating on a steel roof with thunder in between. Normally this is worth freaking out, but a few dozen people were around and they hardly shrugged their shoulders. The aunties just brought out food and we feasted.

Trying to avoid the uncles from tricking me into eating goat and fear factor platters, I went inside and ate with some of the older aunties. You know how they always really want you to eat? Well, it worked out this time because I really wanted to eat. Crab, shrimp, and lots of it. Dozens of crabs on serving plates around and outside the house. “Prawn” and “shrimp” mean different things in various places, but “big” translates easily. These were big. The kind they charge something like $17 a pound for at Albertson’s. I imagine we didn’t pay as much here.

This will probably be one of the more memorable meals of my life. It was the kind of no-frills meal that Anthony Bourdain waxes poetic about. Good food, lightning, no electricity, and a bunch of aunties and grandmas talking and happy to see me eat as long as I didn’t waste the shrimp heads. Cholesterol came up as a topic, but they all pretty much agreed - - right now, who cares?

Interesting slideshow explaining the differences between the Grand Slam surfaces. Featuring Junior’s favorite tennis player.

South Park Wheel of Fortune. Wally showed me this. I don’t watch South Park much but it looks like I might be missing out.

Source for the Dear Sister spoof. I’m like um half a year late on this one. That’s the clip from the O.C., which makes sense (as much as possible) of this SNL skit. And there are a lot of spoofs of the spoof. Like this Office one. Or this Looney Tunes one.

Things I’d like to hear on a first date. Nerd version.

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4]

[You're thinking straight, it used to be in 7 parts. Part 7 will be postponed indefinitely.]

Kind of an off day. I woke up with a fever. I’m no doctor but I think it’s because I barely slept the night before. I had the ‘itis. Possibly from anything I ate. Pig, duck, anything. I ignored it so I tossed and turned all night. Today I dropped so many deuces they’d call it a twenty.

Mostly just traveling today. We took Marcos highway. His face was removed from the hillside a few years back. Apparently he wasn’t really that cool a guy, but it makes me sad because the stone carving is one of the things I remember from when I visited as a kid.

McDonald’s here is nice. Clean bathroom. Which was sort of a godsend today. The chicken seems popular. The McDo isn’t as good as I remember it being. At all. Sarsi tastes like menthol. And there’s an Asia-exclusive sandwich called the McRice. The buns are tightly packed seasoned rice rather than bread. Pretty much tastes how you’d imagine, meaning ground beef with rice.

Got home and, yah, it’s hot in Pampanga. And really humid. Really really humid. My dad just slept and kept taking showers the entire afternoon. After you step out of the shower it feels like you’re covered in sweat. Because you are. I went on a date with the air conditioner. We watched The Aviator. I saw some kids playing basketball on the court next door. It’s no exaggeration when people say kids play in tsinelas. Only three had shoes on. They love finger rolls, but everyone’s really quick. That was mostly it. Like I said, kind of an off day.

Just like a lot of other people this morning antsy to get their hands on a copy of Halo 3. Except guess what, they didn’t have any copies left. Or ever, because this picture is from one of Seattle’s departments of licensing. At opening time. I thought I’d beat the rush, but people start lining up at dawn apparently. I never really understood the DMV jokes in the Simpsons or Family Guy until today.

There were fifty of us waiting inside at opening and eighty by the time I left two hours later. And everyone new that entered put on faces like they just walked into a murder scene. Check this page out. That first row of facial expressions, that kind of covers the gamut.

In unrelated news, I finished the first season of Dexter yesterday. I had the first facial expression on for probably the entire last episode.